Finding Out

This blog is for all soon to be moms, moms, and/or anyone thinking that they may want to become a mom some day....

These are the things that no one ever tells you, that your own mom forgot to mention, and the plain honest truth about parenting. This blog is not for the faint of heart or for those who can't handle some explicit content. This blog is for me, my sister, and my friends considering having children of their own someday.

I want to change the way people (women particularly) view and discuss pregnancy and motherhood. Yes, it is wonderful and magical and the most amazing thing you will ever do in your life... But there is so much more to it than that. Why are we so shy about sharing the facts? Why couldn't our Grandparents say the word "pregnant" and have to tip toe around the truth by using words like "expecting" or "with child"??? What is that!? It isn't like you can hide a pregnancy for long! So what is wrong with talking about it? What is the actual problem here?

When I found out I was pregnant I was only 3 weeks along, but the reality is that I knew immediately what was going on... I was working as the manager of a coffee shop when I started feeling a little sickly. One of my employees actually brought a pregnancy test to work for me to take which I conveniently forgot to use.  I kept mentioning that I was not feeling good at work and one of my employees asked "Are you pregnant?!" I immediately broke out into tears and ran to the back saying "I think I might be!" It was horrifying and embarassing...

This of course was a lie since I knew that I was pregnant but didn't want o to admit it. I went that afternoon to the store and called my sister (Whom I would DIE without) and told her I was going to her house with a pregnancy test. when I got there I told her that my boobs had been getting darker and we went into  her downstairs bathroom where I insisted that she show me her boobs so that we could compare colors. As soon as I lifted my top off she started to laugh at me in a very "haha I knew it" tone and told me I was definitely pregnant. The test I took showed one clear line, and one very faint second line. At this point I could hear her husband sitting at the table outside the door laughing at us cause he could hear everything that was going on.

I was in severe denial! No way this could happen to me! Now let me get one thing straight, I had the most wonderful possible scenario for an unwed pregnant barista. I was dating the love of my life, he was supportive and wanted children some day....but this was unexpected. I had convinced myself that I would never have children myself, since I hated them. This was a complete game changer.

I know as a middleclass white woman in America that I have "options" about keeping the baby, I can proudly say that no other "option" than keeping the baby crossed my mind. I absolutely had no idea what to do with a child, not to mention a baby, but I knew one hundred percent that I was keeping the thing. I called my mom to have lunch with me and told her that I thought I was knocked up. It couldn't be the most exciting news for a mother to hear, especially since my family is very religious and pre marital sex is considered a sin. I knew that if I was actually pregnant that I would need her by my side through the whole thing. She was the one who came with me to the doctor for the blood work and the final confirmation of my "situation".

Little did I know that this little baby had quite an adventure in store for me. . .